| life |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|10:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | predatory | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Salitude by evenecscence | ] |
hey everyone sorry i haven't updated in a while computer has been really screwed up and in and out of the store.
ya my life sucks, can't seem to get along with my parents. IT SNOWED. I HATE SNOW. and the way ppl have been treating me makes me feel like i'm not really liked just put up with and ya. and laf. suck. our school is becoming a drug and alcohal ward and bullshit like that. i hurt everywhere thanks to bruises from basketball and stacking 200 bales of hay and ya. MY LIFE SUCKS!!! *curls up in bed and hides under covers* grrr... sometimes i just want to do that for a while. and i can't wait till break cuz i'll be able to do that. ya...like i said MY LIFE SUCK and i just wish i had someone i could confide in with them actually caring and not just pretending. i just dunno anymore. DID I MENSION....MY LIFE REALLY SUCKS!!!!! |
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| bullshit |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|07:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Untitled- simple plan | ] |
My life right now is bullshit. all i doo seems like it is wrong. why doesn't someone just shoot me now so i dun have to be such a disappointment. can't things i do ever be right. grrrr...... i hate life,it's bullshit. errrrr....i just want to scream. why is this happening to me??? |
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| I Am..... |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|08:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | These Words- Evenecence | ] |
I am the guy who came out to the entire school in his senior speech and got a standing ovation for his courage.
I am the girl who kisses her girlfriend on the sidewalk and laughs at those who glare.
We are the couple who planned and studied and got a damn good lawyer and BEAT the state that wanted to take our child away.
We are the ones who took martial arts classes and carry pepper spray and are just too dangerous to gay bash.
I am the transgender person who uses the bathroom that suits me, and demands that any complaining staff explain their complaint to my face in front of the entire restaurant -- and shares with my other trans friends which restaurants don't raise a stink.
I am the mother who told her lesbian daughter to invite her girlfriend over for dinner.
I am the father who punished his son for calling you a fag.
I am the preacher who told my congregation that love, not hate, is the definition of a true follower of God.
I am the girl who did not learn the meaning of "homosexual" until high school but never thought to question why two men might be kissing.
I am the woman who argues (quite loudly and vehemently) with the bigots who insist that you do not have the right to marry or raise children.
We are the high school class who agrees, unanimously, along with our teacher, that love should be all that matters.
If you agree, repost this. Do it. You don't have to be afraid. You can handle it. You're stronger than you think.
I am making a difference. Hate will not win. |
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| kissing survay |
[Sep. 15th, 2005|09:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Think of Me - Phantom of the Opera | ] |
Kissing survey thing! Simple [x] box thing.
Body: I've kissed someone....
[X] on the cheek.
[X] on the lips.
[X] on their hands or fingers.
[X] in my room.
[X] in their room.
[X] of the opposite sex.
[X] of the same sex.
[ ] a little younger than me.
[x] a little older than me.
[X] with brown hair.
[X] with curly hair.
[ ] with blonde hair and blue eyes.
[X] with straight hair.
[ ] shorter than me.
[x] with a lip ring.
[x] with a tounge ring.
[X] who you truly love/loved
[ ] who was drunk.
[x] while you were drunk
[x] taller than me
[ ] who was high.
[X] in the morning.
[X] right after waking up.
[X] just before bed.
[X] late at night.
[x] who I really didn't want to kiss.
[x] who was going out with someone else.
[X] on a bed.
[ ] two people at the same time
[x] right after you've kissed somebody else
[x] in a graveyard.
[ ] at school.
[X] against a wall.
[ ] at a show.
[ ] at the beach.
[X] in a pool.
[x] who was/is a good friend.
[ ] in the rain
[ ] with an std.
[X] in a car/taxi/bus.
[ ] on a plane.
[X] in the movies.
[X] in a bathroom.
[X] in the dark
[ ] on a roof top
[ ] under water
[X] while you/they were driving
[x] who was a complete stranger
[ ] at the old folks home
[X] at the park
[X] in a shower
[X] while people were watching |
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| Absolutly Nothing |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|10:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Photograph by nickelback | ] |
Did really nothing today, other than school and barn and then i went to bug jason at wherever he was at.
fa la la la la....Jen is prolly where she needs to be or almost there. so she prolly somewhere in montana.
I'm wondering rather or not to go to sr. camp out or not |
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| omg!!! |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|08:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Because of You by Kelly Clarkson | ] |
is there a time in ur life where you just want to scream bloody murder so the whole world hears you???
That is the way i feel right now... i'm getting really stressed out. cuz of school, family, and job. and the only person i feel not stressed out with is Jason. i dunno what the feeling is for him, but he makes me happy and i feel safe and he makes me laugh and stuff and just brightens my mood. all i know i miss him when we're not together and ya he means a lot to me right now. i hope it last. that all i can say i hope it last.
My family is driving me crazy. parents drink to much, fight to much and just grrr....do too much to drive me crazy. and then my mom's mother (ya, that would make her my grandmother but i dun concider her one cuz she hasn't been involved in my life) is living here and she causing trouble and can't remember a thing and i'm getting sick of repeating things. i really dun like repetition. |
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| hahahahahahahahaha |
[Aug. 17th, 2005|11:29 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Fall to Pieces - Avril Lavigne | ] |
hey ya'll haven't updated this in a while. well in exception to all the random quizes i took and posted. yeah they were very random.
Yesterday My freind Jason and I went to Six Flags Darien Lake. We had so much fun and so much time to get to know eachother better. It was really fun. We got stuck on Supermad Ride of Steel (rollarcoaster) 2 times on the way up the huge gigantic hill. first time 2 ppl had hats but that was an excuse, according to jason. and then another time right at the top of the hill, and they don't know y we stopped the second time. and the poor dude that had come up the first time had to come up again. he was like dying i felt so bad for him. he's like "i'm not made for this sh**. ooo, i'm sorry". he really did say that.he just sliped when he said sh** tho.
Jen is leaving me home with my mom's mom and the parents and going to Montana. NOOOOOOO.....Jennifer Ann Rodgers....hide me in ur car. i'm gonna miss you. and when can i call u cuz i forgot the time differance you might want to write it down for me haha. not like your going to read this and tell me. |
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| errrrrr..... |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|12:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Alvril Lavine "Don't Want to Fall to Pieces" | ] |
errr...i dunno where my sister is getting that my parents abused her, ya they spanked her when she was lil, and mom and her used to get if fist fights, she started them all. ya and why would they abuse her and not me? that just doesn't make sence. abuse one child but not the other. really doesn't make scence.
My mom's mother is living at my house. i'm going insane with her here. she says mean things it gets me mad. she is trying to invade my personal life. she trying to get me to let her read my instant messeges, my emails and things like that when i'm online. i can't stand it. i feel like i'm falling to pieces. my life is so messed up right now. my mom's mother is is messed up. i can't stand it. i have told my mom if she is anything like her when she gets old i'm shooting her. my mom laughed at that and said plz doo. no i really wouldn't shoot my mother. i would just stick her in a old person home.
i have horse show in a week at that collusam at the fairgrounds. come watch i'm show all day friday, 2 classes saturday, and all day sunday. Adam might be there yay. can't wait, havn't seen him in a while. eeekksss.....can't wait...and chrissy is going to be there. woot.
and the weekend after i'm going camping from wed. to sun. really long. haha shall be fun since i'm not used to camping. and my cell won't work where i'm going so you won't here from meee.....oh, i'm going camping in New Hampshire. it this really big get to gether called soulfest. it alot of concerts in a 4 day spand. Three Doors Down is going to be there i think. ummm...i'm not sure on that one but i'm pretty sure that there going to be there. |
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| sanity |
[Jun. 15th, 2005|10:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | shinedown albam | ] |
Is it sane to question ur sanity? sometimes i question my sanity. sometimes i feel like i have lost it, and sometimes feel that i haven't lost it. sometimes i feel like i'm going to lose it. that make me think am i really sane? i dunno good question. some days i feel sane and sometimes i feel like i have lost it or about to lose it. how does it feel to be the one alway in the way? how does it feel to be the one alway left out in the rain? show me my vital signs until i'm realined. i wish there was a better version of me and the way i am and that makes me understand the way i look the way i speak.
I miss my sister i want her to come home from london already. |
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| cold |
[Mar. 18th, 2005|11:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | stressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 45 by shinedown | ] |
when is the snow gonna go away. been stressed out lately with school work and 4H. Research paper in english and just so much on top of that.
Thing to do to be different
Redem my self in my dessperation
exlain my self and my situation
The more the dark consumes me the more i see no evil
i see no evil conversation
Jen is going to london that lil' curly haired wanna be blond gap toothed beoch. by the way i'm just kidding bout the lil' curly..... part. i'm happy for her. i wish she would hide me in her suitcase. |
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| long time no update |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|10:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | American Idiot Greed Day | ] |
Yeah, haven't updated in a while. been busy and computer hasn't been working. actually just got it back from comp usa cuz i dunno it got viruses or something like that. dun ask me how? cuz i dunno. life has been prety sucky for me lately.
Reasons::::
1) RJ randomly screamed at me the other day. supposidly i said he didn't work at all. but i didn't i was just stating i spent my money i worked so hard for. and he took as i said he didn't work and just started screaming, thank god laura was there to butt in and stuff of it wouldn't be a prety sound. He's a freakin moron. of course he is off his anti-depressent and when he is off that he is an asshole and very angry and takes thing unpreportionaly. he made me cry and i haven't cryed since i ditched my mom's car
2) Got to go to court wed. to fight my liteartly going 7 mph speeding ticket. i was going 7mph no faster and trying to turn and the damn cop gave me a ticket. Mr. Olkers told me the cop shouldn't have even gotten the ticket. it's not fair. i dun get it. Cat and sara's mom can flip her car going speed limit on road conditioins just as bad as when i crashed and she doesn't get a freaking speeding ticket and i do for going freaking 7 mph and turing and i get a freaking speeding ticket. i pisses me off majorly. it's really not fair. it angers me greatly. it really does.
3) stressed out due to school work. too much of it. i could cry i really could. i just wish i had someone to talk too. have a research paper and and grrr....just too much work. i'm gonna scream.
ok that most of the reason. i miss my sister too. my life couldn't get any better. grrr..... well i got to run c ya |
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| life sucks |
[Nov. 29th, 2004|12:09 am] |
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yeah haven't updated in a long time, really long time. well life is sucky, lost my blue knit gloves, i wanted them for winter, grrrr.....!!!!!!! it getting cold out. basketball it goning good, i guess. schoool work ok. so stressful. math is confusing. horse is going a good,except he has a big scrap above his eye, don't know how it happened. oh well it will heal. getting a new english saddle. it gonna cost me alot of money, oh well i'll have a new one. it really cold. and it getting late and i have school tomorrow oh well. cold. parents are continuing to drink. they complain of having no money but then they go to the bar all the time. i saw joey the other day, he looking better, but so thin. i can't believe that this is all happening to laf. why can't it happent to other people? not like i'm wanting other people to go threw all this but why is it all happening to laf.? |
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| not again, but again |
[Aug. 19th, 2004|12:09 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | something sad | ] |
it's so hard to believe that matt taskar is gone. i can't believe it. so not gonna be the same. poor class of 2003. so hard to believe. i miss him already. he taught me a lesson with this accident. I'm so not gonna speed anymore. i'm so not gonna. well ok not excessivly speed like 75. yeah i'll go 70 but no faster. of course on the highway not slow roads. well always love matt. he'll be missed. most definaltly missed. love always MT.
RIP- MATT TASKAR (8-17-04)
RIP- Jessica F. and Shannon Thomas and Lianne West (6-18-2002) |
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| additional |
[Aug. 5th, 2004|11:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | matina mcbride---> " How far" | ] |
i forgot some things about the horse thing. the horse that fell in the creak broke his leg in 2 spot and severed and artery and had to be put down. poor mikie ty.
RIP-Mikie Ty (June 1991-August 3,2004)
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| too much for me to handle I'm losing it!!!!! |
[Aug. 3rd, 2004|10:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | whisky Lullaby by brad pasley and allison kruse | ] |
ok too much to handle. i'm losing it. i can't stop crying. poor mikie ty. poor YB. poor horse.
The day stated out like a normal day went to the barn expecting a good ride. well not such a good ride. we were at the end we were tieing our horses to go swimming at the pond but things turned for the worse. mikie got scared ran with a stair case they stair case came off then he fell into a big creek where the pond drains when it gets too high. their was debrie in there and the spicket thing to control water comeing out from the pond. and he broke his leg. we were just getting to him and he jumped out of the hole and ran away more and that is when we seen his leg and YB knew he was gone and i knew he was gone. i tryed to comfort her but my horse was bout to hurt himself so i had to go get him which turned for the worse too. he got away from me and alysia and ran cought up to ginny and misty. he broke his bit. so need a knew one.
Just so hard to believe. i feel like i'm dreamin', and i'm gonna wake up and go to the barn and mikie ty is gonna be there and be okay. but i'm not dreaming, it's all real and i'm not gonna wake up and everythings gonna be ok cuz it not gonna be ok. YB is devestated. i feel so bad. i miss that horse already. i'm so sad. |
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| hehe |
[Jul. 20th, 2004|10:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | whisky lullaby | ] |
got youth fair in a couple days. getting so nervous. might go to lorenzo hunt with jessica. caitlin needs to pick up her phone cuz i really neet to talk to her. i miss mark but oh well i'll get over it. i dun need him. i can live with out him. just i hope he can get unattached. i'm so lost. i dunno where my life is going. i'm realizing now that my dream of becoming a vey are very slim since my grades are not high enough. i try i really do just the stuff is too hard and if i think i'm doing it right it ends up wrong. maybe i should just find something that is more me like horse training or something along them lines. i dunno. sometimes life just sucks. i feel like nothing is going right for me and that my life has nothing more. but i know there is more to life just i can't see it right now. well i'm gonna go do other stuff now bye. |
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| long tim no update |
[Jun. 11th, 2004|06:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I don't want you back by eamon | ] |
well school is so hecktic. so confusing. life is confusing. i think there is something wrong with my dad or something. life sucks. well right now at least. i can't wait til i have the freedom of summer. i got my licence now. i'm so happy. i'm somewhat free. yeah i haven't updated in a while. i'm bad at it i know. i feel so special. i got invited to 2 graduation parties. going to the mall, haven't been there in a while.i want to to go to the barn but it is a lil to late. *fuck you you hoe i dun want you back* well i got to go now i'll update more hopefully. |
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| long time |
[May. 24th, 2004|10:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | determined | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | from this moment shinia twain | ] |
i know long time since i have updated. i'll try to update more but this one is gonna be a quicky cuz i got to go to bed for school in the morning. well thought today was an bd day when it was really a ac day. so i went to the wrong class frist block which really sucked. and pissed me off cuz my bio teacher mr. o wouldn't believe me until i said it for the 3rd time, grrr....i hate school. couple more weeks and it'll be over. regents suck i dun wanna take them. i wish my mom and dad would stop drinking. i feel so alone. i feel like god is the only one that is realy here for me. well got to go dryer is done see ya. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2004|11:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | envious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | perfech by some new band. | ] |
Think that one is iteresting but none of that is true.
Don't get blood splatters on you when you shoot
your victim. Your methods are a bit uncouth but
your finesse and sense of style is impeccable.
With a bit of guidance you could live among us
in the world of vampires.
How would you Murder?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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blueroses1558's journal
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